Hey, Tumblr. How are ya? It doesn’t seem like you’ve had a lot going on today, so I hope you’re feeling alright. I do care about you. I think you might even care about me, too. And actually… I needa talk to you, if that’s ok. You don’t mind listening? K thanks.
I’m frustrated. Perpetually frustrated. No, no - not with you, Tumblr. With people I love. Well… no, not with people. Just with one person in particular. I give and I give and I give. Then… I give some more. How is it never enough, though? What do I have to do? How many times do I have to show that I care to be cared for the same in return? Too many it seems. When it’s good, it’s really good. When it’s not, it kinda makes me wanna punch someone in the face… a certain someone. I promise I’d follow it by the biggest hug ever, though. I know, I know. I’ve just gotta let it go. I’ll try.
Thanks for listening, Tumblr. At least I know you’re always here.
ps Sam in England thinks I have a sweet voice, not the voice of one that is ready to punch faces. I’m such a mysterious rockstar.
I went to college with Ben before he moved to New York City and started being awesome. (Ok, he was always pretty awesome.) He’s quite the adventurer, and I’m looking forward to keeping up with his latest project. You should follow suit.
Ok, I have 168 hours to hitchhike from Manhattan to Maine. Will do some practice hitching today to see if I can leave NYC.
I want to write. I know. I know. I’ve told you that before, Tumblr, but really… I want to write. There is so much keeping me from it, though, e.g., grad school, laziness, boggled thoughts, lack of confidence, etc. Not any one of those is more stifling than another. They are all equally holding me back from doing something I might be meant to do, but lately, I’ve felt like I could possibly overcome all of those obstacles… and actually do it. Actually do what people always tell me I should. Write. Maybe even write a book. If not a book, at least write something just to get myself started on what could later turn into more. The idea of that is both exciting and horrifying, empowering and crippling. I can’t even begin to imagine holding myself …my whole heart… in 350 pages to hand over to the world to read and criticize as they please. I’d be giving them a book to rip apart, analyze, judge, gossip about, feel connected to, empathize with. I’d be giving them my life to know every piece of because if I did it, I’d do it right. I wouldn’t hold back. I wouldn’t waste my time on something that doesn’t mean the world to me. I’d put every puzzle piece of myself into it because that’s what it is - a puzzle, and if a piece is missing, it’s not complete. I’d have regrets, and what would be the point? Music could seem the same, and in a lot of ways it is. But still… when you write a book and place it in the memoir section, you’re telling the world, “This is me. This is my life.” There would be parts of me my family would be introduced to - parts of me some friends would know and others wouldn’t - parts of me friends wouldn’t know at all - and probably parts of me that even I didn’t know about. A good friend once told me that one of the things she loves most about me is my discomfort with vulnerability and exposing myself in spite of it.
I could do it. I could expose myself in spite of the discomfort… and be glad I did.
Brandi’s video for “Dreams”. Chills all the way through. It’s perfect. Sheesh, could I be any more in love?
Watch it. Now.
I kind of failed at (grad school) life today in the form of not turning in my Statistics homework and (possibly) doing horribly on my Statistics test. Sometimes I think I’m a rockstar, and it gets me in trouble. Whatevs. Ok… the important things:
1. Friday - So many talented friends in one living room playing their musix. How’d I get such pals? It blows my mind at least once a day.
2. Saturday - In the studio with Jessie Baylin listening to her new tunes, watching the magic happen, and dancing with pretty mics. Um, get excited about her new record, ok? Just get freakin’ excited. (Again… how’d I get such pals?)
3. Sunday - Brandi. People watching. Heaven. She is absolutely superhuman. I’m unashamedly in love.
4. Today, I got a sweet little gifty gift in my Gmail inbox from my favorite New Yorker. Thanks, ellzie. Heartsssss and crazy smileysss. (Ok, seriously… whose life did I save to get these guys?)
5. I kind of decided two days ago that I’d drive to Canada this weekend if my pal, Kait Lawson, would join. She agreed - duh. (That’s why I like you, Kait!) So we’re driving to Canada to visit Penhale/Stella folk for my Fall Break. Third trip since June. Holyyyyy. I told my mom. She didn’t freak.
interscope just called. they are working out the details of a record deal for my sister and i. they want to record an album at my hometown congregation, as well as some tracks in nashville. i am blown away…the label people have such brilliant ideas, and i love all of them! this is going to be a fantastic experience…i just don’t know what to expect. ahhh. anyway, i’m excited! thanks to you guys for the encouragement! more news to come!
oh my word. interscope.
I am freaking the eff out. Before Tuesday, Laura essentially wasn’t even pursuing music… yet. No demo. No shows. No cowriting. Nothing. Tuesday, she goes to an open audition randomly held in Nashville, was the 10th person to audition, and Interscope FREAKED. She broke the mold of what they were looking for IF they decided to sign someone and by Friday, it’s already falling into place. Insane. Go to her blog to read the details!
This is nuts, Larrrrr. I’m so beyond excited/proud of you. Let’s run away with Brandi!!! Interscope!!!!!
I totally love my Monday night class, but it’s kind of ruining my life. Ready?
1. Alison Krauss & Union Station, Bela Fleck, Mary Chapin Carpenter at the Grand Ole Opry House with Minnie Driver as the musical host.
Oct 12 - MONDAY!
2. Ingrid Michaelson at the Belcourt
Nov 2 - MONDAY!
3. Regina Spektor at the Ryman
Nov 16 - MONDAY!
I could cryyyyy. Probably going to see Ingrid and Co., though - or I’ll at least come hang with you guys after the show. **sniffle sniffle**
I need to start Tumbling again like I did in the olden days. I’ve got this hella urge to write, but graduate school is ruining my (creative and concert) life. Here’s a rundown:
I have assignments.
I don’t want do the assignments.
I’d rather write for realsss (or at least blog).
I feel that if I write something it should be for an assignment.
I don’t write anything.
MLIA (It’s so not)
Sidenote: I might be meeting Melissa Gilbert (Little House on the Prairie!!!!) via a Goodwill charity drive. YES! She’s totes my girlfriend (but probably scary IRL).
Sidenote 2: I might go see Brandi in Birmingham on Sunday!!!! She’s totes my girlfriend, too (and prettyyyy IRL).
Edit: I AMMMM seeing Brandi Sunday. Ticket purchased. Hellz yeah.